HEADLINES

In a day dominated by world headlines such as:

“US Santas demand priority swine flu vaccine”
“Maybe she should have ducked” (after TV chef Paula Deen was hit in the face by a ham)
“Using your plastic for plastic surgery”
“World’s oldest sheep dies in heatwave”
“Novice Israeli spy gets nicked by Tel Aviv cops”

second prize goes to:

“Japanese cops cross-dress for bag snatch dragnet”
which explains that Japanese black-belt policemen have been cross-dressing in high heels, wigs and designer bags, in a bid to beat off bag-snatchers

However, the winner is:

“PIG FARTS SPARK AUSTRALIAN GAS SCARE”
A flatulent pig sparked a gas emergency in southern Australia when a farmer mistook its odours for a leaking pipe
(and that one comes all the way from Axedale in Victoria).